All illustrations by Jessica Randklev

All illustrations by Jessica Randklev

Dear The Bremelogger: I must congratulate you on your unmatched measure of delusion, but this frivolous “Bring EndFest Back to Bremerton” campaign is about your leanest idea yet.

Nobody wants to go back to Bremerton. The idea is to get the hell out of Bremerton as fast as possible. Notice that everyone with half a brian, a decent chance of  assimilation, or a public case of herpes gets the hell out. The rest of you are a collection of toothless drones content to eek out an existence taking your pants off in public and whining incessantly about how Washington State Ferries doesn’t do you right anymore. Which brings me to your guest “columnist” Steve David Morse.

Morse is an example both of your quintessential West Bremerton whiner and a bloke with the means and the know-how to make it across the water. Why he ever decided to experiment with the Bremerton estabilishment the way the rest of you experiment with off-brand sleeping pills is beyond me.

Sincerely,

Winslow

Sure, Kid Rock completely sucks. But we need him in Bremerton. Well, East Bremerton at least.

Sure, Kid Rock completely sucks. But we need him in Bremerton. Well, East Bremerton at least.

I saw three EndFests in Bremerton (’97, ’99, and 2000). Yes, Bremerton. Some people like to pretend the fairgrounds aren’t Bremerton. Well, if you’re coming from anywhere other than West Bremerton, those grounds are Bremerton. And on those Bremerton grounds I saw atrocious bands like Korn, Blink-182, Moby, Everlast, Kid Rock, and, yes, RADIOHEAD (that was in ’97, and they shared the afternoon bill with Matchbox 20, before they were Matchbox Twenty).

Those shows — particularly 1997, which I will forever remember as one of my favorite shows — were epic. They were sweaty. Sometimes violent. And we didn’t have to take a ferry to see them. Eveyrone else took the ferry. It was a holiday. And I want it back.

Sure, my tastes have evolved a bit — it seems like everyone else was weened on hot shit like David Bowie and The Smiths while I came of age on “Bawitdaba” — but we all need the rock. And we all want to take the ferry less and less. I’m getting old, and I’m sick of taking the 12:50 ferry. And I’m sick of the “Kingdome” parking lot (where I saw a recent EndFest with the “Smashing Pumpkins”). And I’m even more sick of Auburn’s White River Amphitheater.

Yes, I know Bremerton has its problems. But I don’t know sane individuals who would rather drive to White River than the fairgrounds.

Let’s start it right now: BRING ENDFEST 19 (in 2010) BACK TO BREMERTON!

P.S. EndFest 18, featuring Blink-182 and Weezer plays Auburn’s White River Amphitheater on Sept. 10.