All illustrations by Jessica Randklev.

All illustrations by Jessica Randklev.

Dear Old Man Winslow: How kind of you to write. I was beginning to think you’d forgotten about us. And I’m glad to hear that you “read” about Bremerton’s Kitsap Wine Festival. But I have a sneaking feeling it was you and your kind who consumed the tickets. I mean, when Bremertonians spend $45 on wine, it’s delivered by the case.

Hey, before you go, I’ve got a question for you. Actually, it’s more like a story.

You see, every day I take the ferry. And until a couple weeks ago, I sat in the same spot every day. It’s a pretty plumb spot, so I don’t want to give it away. Like I said, until a couple weeks ago it was mine. Every day. Without question. Then, one day, there was a … how should I say, a “problem” with the seat of another regular in my seating section. And he took my spot before I got on the boat. Now he’s discovered the subtle pleasures of my seat and won’t go back. Every morning I get on the boat hoping for my old place back. And every morning I see his smug face below an atrocious hair cut in a spot that’s rightfully mine.

What would Bainbridge do? Islanders are more particular about their assigned seats on those super collosal jumbo boats you’ve got over there. How do you handle these situations? Should I say something? Offer him Chapstick and the name of a good barber?


The Bremelogger