All illustrations by Jessica Randklev.

All illustrations by Jessica Randklev.

Dear Winslow: You talk tough about our “agreement,” about the social contract that has allowed our two cities to co-exist together in peace. But, here you go again stomping on our turf. What’s this I hear about a brothel on Bainbridge Island? Come on! Callow’s supposed to have the market corned on the turning of tricks, and we stay out of the wine and cheese business. (Oops, I guess the Kitsap Wine Festival should be on Bainbridge. I’ll give you that. Gladly.)

You’ve had a brothel on the island? And your men are paying to have sex with our women? Oooooooh, Winslow, don’t tell me Bremerton’s not rubbing off on you. We’re rubbing off, and you’re obviously rubbing one out.

I’ll close this letter with a few words from one of your own.

“We’re an upscale community and I think we have a sort of upscale self-image,” Iver McDougal, president of the South Bainbridge Neighborhood Association.

Upscale self-image? That’s putting it lightly, friend.

The Bremelogger