April 2009


All illustrations by Jessica Randklev.

All illustrations by Jessica Randklev.

Dear Old Man Winslow: No, I didn’t buy a Prius or anything. It has to do with my drinking habits.

We saw some of the most gorgeous weather of the year last week, and before I boarded a ferry home one evening I decided to pick up a beverage or two for the ride back to Bremerton. Well, my usual bodega was closed, so I hoofed it up to some swanky West Edge deli that I cannot even remember the name of. They had no 22-oz bottles — my preferred vessel for on-board sipping — and their selection was unimpressive at best. Without realizing what I was doing, I found myself at the register with a six pack of Stella Artois. You know, the “Perfection Has Its Price” brand of Hams. It was delicious.
I sipped it as the sun went down over the Olympics. It tasted spectacular until I caught sight of the Bainbridge boat, and I realized what a Bainbridge move it was to spend $11 on a six pack, to drink piss-quality beer because of branding, and to wrap my cargo in a white paper bag. Yes, Winslow, the bag wasn’t even brown, it was Sparkle vanilla white. As I think back on the transaction I realize that it was I who reached for the small white bag, even when the cashier offered me a brown — albeit much larger — bag for concealment. I have a problem, Winslow. I even brought it up with Jarred, my Uptown analyst, who told me:

“That was a monster Bainbridge move. Luckily there are no laws in place that would force you to over compensate by sipping Milwaukee’s Best out of a can with your pinky finger sticking out while walking around downtown Winslow.”

In my defense, I did get the the ferry a few minutes early and ordered a pint of Pabst at the Commuter Comforts bar. But, I believe Jarred’s right. I need to atone for my sins. For even as I write this, I realize that I’ve once again locked lips with Stella. At least I’ve kicked the bag.

The Bremelogger

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bainnnnboat

No, no, no, no not that Bainbridge. The Navy destroyer USS Bainbridge was involved in the rescuse of the American sailor from pirates this week. Can anyone tell me if Bainbridge was ever serviced at PSNS?