All illustrations by Jessica Randklev

All illustrations by Jessica Randklev

Dear The Bremelogger: First things first. You’re an idiot. I applaud “Smart Enough” for pointing that out yesterday. I’m actually surprised it took someone this long to point that out.

Second: While it’s completely ridiculous to try to make hay out of what was probably just a temporary technical malfunction on the part of The Review, let’s face facts: you probably just misspelled Bremerton, which is why it was returning no articles. Lord knows the fundamentals of the alphabet are a challenge to you and the rest of the Bremelog contributors. But, let’s say you are right.

Let’s say that Bainbridge Island does refuse to acknowledge Bremerton’s existence. Why not? You’re not worth it? You people pay for Girl Scout cookies with fake money. You steal credit cards and order in for pizza. You forget which house is yours. I can’t help you, “dude.”

If you want people to start acknowledging your existence, start by wearing pants in public.