All illustrations by Jessica Randklev.

All illustrations by Jessica Randklev.

Dear Old Man Winslow:

I think we should change the subject. Because obviously this pay-for-sex discussion has you all kinds of upset. I actually want to ask you about something that’s been bothering me ever since you people destroyed that killer hot dog joint (Kell Inn???) and erected (haha) a Safeway in its place: Why do the Island’s youth hang out in front, in and around the Safeway  ALL THE TIME?

It’s amazing. I’ve been to my share of Safeways in my day, and I’ve never experienced anything like it. Not that you care, but we have a Safeway in West Bremerton with sassy clerks that pitch you shit for buying bum wine and such. But, we don’t have any youthful loiterers. I mean, right now we’ve got the Girl Scouts, but that’s only for a few more weeks (right?). Don’t your kids have constructive things to do? Silver spoons to polish? Lacrosse (don’t get me started) games to play?

And when does it stop? Just the other day I paid a visit to some friends on your rock and stopped off at Safeway for a few supplies before heading across the bridge. And there they were, at Midnight, a crew of (slightly) grown-up former teenagers passing the time out front.

Give me an answer. I’m sure you’ve noticed.


The Bremelogger